Friday, January 30, 2009

Vote Yes for Self-Censorship

I remember at my bridal shower we went around the room and all the ladies gave me their advice. My sister said something along the lines of..."when in anger...write your feelings down on paper...and then burn it!".

I obviously didn't heed her advice and clearly I should have...

Before I posted on my blog yesterday. (since censored and removed)

Oops!

Don't worry ladies - my cheek is turned. I won't be writing to Dr. Phil or letting the air out of that insensitive person's tires.

Next time someone asks me when we are having kids....I'll just smile and politely say "I don't know...but thank you for asking".

Man, this perfection thing is hard. Think I'll ever reach it?

Thursday, January 29, 2009

To Infertility and Beyond

I had a funny one-sided conversation with someone today. This well-intending person (I'll give her the benefit of the doubt since I don't really know her...) asked me when Mr. Thompson and I were going to finally settle down and have a baby. Not exactly break room conversation so I just smiled and shrugged.


These are a few of my crafty responses to some of the common questions:


When are you going to start trying to have a baby, huh?
The business-minded answer: I’m sorry but we require all questions be submitted in triplicate form.
The straight-forward answer: February 25th, 2011 at 10:54pm.
The question with a question answer: When are you going to commit to free unlimited childcare for us?

You’re not getting any younger, you want to be active with your kids, right?
What you say in your head: Really? You really just said that to my face?
What you will probably say: Pretty darn cold outside lately, eh?
What you could say instead: No, actually we want to be as INACTIVE as possible with our kids.

Are you guys ever gonna get busy?
The fun-loving comeback: We don’t have any kids! We get busy all the time. What about you?
The poker-face answer: Uh, never.
The sarcastic retort: Thanks so much for taking such an interest in my private business! How’s your hemorrhoids by the way?
The honest truth: Actually, we’ve been trying to have a child for awhile now.


Not too hard, right? Well, the sarcasm at least is pretty easy to master. It’s the honest truth that opens up Pandora’s box. Everyone seems to have an opinion on how to get pregnant. The first and most-loved comment I generally get is the well-known fact that all you have to do is ‘relax’ and POOF, your infertility days are over!

OK, FPs (that’s ‘fertile people’), listen up! This is why this comment is so annoying to people with infertility: it makes us feel like we’re doing something wrong! Think of it this way, someone tells you they just found out they have cancer or diabetes, would you command them to ’just relax’? Probably not, because you know that it would be natural for them to be worried and you also know that there is a medical problem that ‘just relaxing’ won’t cure. So here’s a few comebacks to the ‘just relax’ comment:

You just need to relax, once you do that, it will happen in no time!
The shut-up and take it answer: OK.
The over-the-top with joy answer: Why, you’re absolutely right!!!! Why didn’t I think of that myself! Thanks! Boy, I really mean it! That’s the BEST advice I’ve ever been give before. Brilliant! I love it! See you later, I’m off to relax now! (This type of answer works best if you shake their hand vigorously as you leave and then proceed to call them every ten minutes for the next two days to show your gratitude.)
Honest answer #1: I know you mean well, but my infertility is more than ‘nervousness’. It’s an actual medical problem. If you want to pepper this mature response with a snotty ending, you could always add: Would you like to see my doctor's note?
Honest answer #2, a little more confrontational: It’s hard not to worry about something that means so much to me. How would you feel if it was you?


Then there is the ‘urban myth' type comment. It always starts with someone who knew someone else who got pregnant by some sort of bizarre concoction of acts and/or remedies. This, I think, is meant to give you hope. Instead, it just feels like one more person telling you what you’re doing wrong or sending you on another rainbow chase. Here’s a sample:
Aunt Joyce knew a girl who got pregnant after she adopted a baby from Russia. The doctor said it had to do with her hormones flowing again.
The testy comeback: Well, I knew a girl who was so sick of people giving her advice on how to get pregnant that she went postal.
I knew a lady at work who got pregnant after doing extended headstands and eating extra garlic. You might want to look into that.
The less hostile but still utterly sarcastic answer: I’m following the advice of my physician, and if, by some MINUTE chance, he thinks that standing on my head for a hour and eating 10 cloves of garlic a day holds some type of medical merit, than I’ll most certainly try it.
The honest answer: I know you just want to help, but those kind of stories just stress me out more.

And there you have it folks.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Offender

Will this...


really make me look like this...?


Because I'm dying here.

Really dying
.

With heart palpitations and everything.

I break out in a sweat just thinking about it... so today I asked Mr. Thompson if he could like dangle a donut in front of "The Offender" or something. That's the only thing I can think of which will help me enjoy this agonizing death a little more.


Seriously.

A BIG CHOCOLATE DONUT.

Other suggestions will be gladly accepted....

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Hummm.....

So, I had a thought-provoking conversation with "Somebody" yesterday which left me more than a little perplexed. "Somebody" asked me about the purpose to my blog.

You mean my blog is supposed to have a purpose?

Hummmm...

So I've been thinking about that. The purpose to my blog...

Is it like my EFF Katie who blogs about Taking The Statistical Bullet with infertility? After years of heartbreak and multiple miscarriages...she just had her first baby. Pretty hopeful stuff.

Or the ever inspiring Nie Nie who started blogging about motherhood...until she was in a plane wreck with her husband last summer. She and her sister C Jane have gone on to inspire the world. I pray for them every day.

Then there is the always funny Seriously So Blessed... a spoof on...Mormon women who blog. I really like that one and want to place a bet that it's actually written by a BYU co-ed of the male gender. Regardless, I'm grateful for the reality check.

Then there is My Super Hopeless Romance...a creative little blog about falling in love with your best friend. That one makes me smile, in a teenage sort of way.

Not to mention my most favorites Because Nice Matters...Krazy4U... Pilgrim Village...and Just Me & The Cat (to name a few). Those are my real life chums who have made me smile for years and continue with each and every new post.

So, "Somebody" wants to know my purpose. He/She thinks that I'm a bit too revealing and that I might be wasting my time with all of this...

Am I?

Maybe, but this blog is titled Viva La Vida. Live the life. That's what I'm sincerely trying to do... so I guess I might have a purpose after all. I know that some days I live it better than others - but give me a break, I'm a work in progress.

So I'm sorry if you don't like my politics...my opinions...my music...how much I love Mr. Thompson....or my dog...and all the things that make me happy...sad...and sometimes even mad.

But that's just me.

Living the life.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Rock On!

Yes Dad, this is the man of my dreams....




What's not to love about that?! Mr. Thompson once was a Rock Star!

Man, I love this guy!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Hey - It's Genetics!

During a business trip to St. George last week, my travel buddy (and fellow manager) gave me a good bit of advice. Spoken like the smart English woman that she is, she said...

"When you read something and your spine straightens up in anger, gall or disbelief.....just keep your mouth closed."

That's good advice for this Scottish lass whose family motto means "make peace or war". In Clan Wilson, we take that motto quite literal (obviously). Just ask our ancestors.

I know that it's already January 15th....but after the last post (which I deleted) I'm going to add my English friend's advice to my list of New Year's resolutions.

After all...he conquers, who conquers himself.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Oy...

I have a big problem.

Mr. Thompson and his Lil' A want another puppy.

Don't get me wrong, I love animals. I love dogs. I love my dog. I loved her as a puppy and I love her as a teenager. Even though she ate my first garden. And tore up my flowerbed. And killed the grass in the backyard. And peed on the carpet of my new house. And ate every sprinkler after I replaced them...twice. And jumps in bed with us...every flippin' night.

But that doesn't mean that I'm ready for another one. Just yet. I mean our puppy... is still a 75 pound puppy.

I imagine that it's kind of like having a baby...when you still have a baby. The only catch is that you get to plan for a dog.

And I don't know if I'm ready.

But Mr. Thompson is. Help! What do I do?!

I'm breaking out in a sweat just thinking about it. I mean, I want Mr. Thompson and his Lil' A to be happy. I want Mia to have a sister...eventually. But now?!

Oy...

Mr. Thompson has been thinking about it for a while. His theory is that if Mia has a sister...it will entertain her. And make her happy. As a compromise, I finally emailed the couple that we purchased Mia from to let them know that when (thinking it would be a while) they have another litter...we'd be interested. Ironically, they just had a litter. Their last one and Mr. Thompson is convinced that it is fate. I guess that bit me in the butt (no pun intended).

Oy...

On one hand, it would be great for her to have a blood sister. I mean, I love my sisters.

But a puppy?!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Dear Katie Jo,


What is this?

I have questions and you have answers.


Sincerely,

Me

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Happy New Year!

Once again, Baby New Year delivered. Oh boy did he deliver!

Mr. Thompson, Lil A' and I jumped in the car Wednesday afternoon in preparation of our holiday vacation in Idaho. We made it just in time for our annual Wilson Clan... Presents Baby New Year party. A great time was had by all...

The Noise Makers....


Boo blowing her horn...


Shredding our confetti. Between these six Noise Makers...I think we shred a ream of paper! Needless to say, we had a lot to get rid of. Favorites include: Time outs (Boo); Mrs. Cox (Baby Bear); missed soccer goals (Banana); Daycare (Lil A'); a mean people (bet you can't guess that one.)


Happy Lil' A (who asked if we could move to Idaho....)


The count down (although horns had been blowing since 10:00pm....)


Boo making her noise

Hands down my favorite picture of all time....and the best Baby New Year ever!


A whole lot of kissing going on (this was my passionate Hollywood kiss Mr. Thompson didn't like....)



More kissing that Lil' A did like....

And more kissing which Baby New Year liked even more....



I'm glad that 2008 is over. Success is mine in 2009! (that's in reference to my resolution)

Happy New Year.
The Daily Dose
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