My friend, my dearest friend J, is busy trying to help with the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy and even busier taking care of herself.
She texted me today and asked if I had read the comments left on her most recent blog post.
I hadn't, but when I did I asked her if I could write her next blog post.
I'm not going to post the comment and if you go back and read it, all I'm going to ask is that you don't say anything negative about the commenter - because in her own way I'm sure she meant well.
But I want to say something to that anonymous commenter:
One of J's best friends lives in Brooklyn, NYC and has a pizza place in Coney Island. If you're familiar with Coney Island, you'll know that the city borders the ocean. It's a beautiful place, and it's a place that both J and I call home.
J's friend called this week to let her know that his pizza place was destroyed in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.
New York is home to J and the people there are her family, and she loves them just as much as she loves her own flesh and blood.
In her last post, J mentioned how frustrated she was at being unable to get medical clearance to fly to NYC - it's a frustration I understand.
Anonymous, I hope you meant well, but when you suggested that J needs to reevaluate her priorities (my words, not yours) and that maybe it is time for her to choose having a baby over her job, I knew that you didn't really know my friend.
Her job isn't just a job.
It's her life.
It's in her blood.
When the people of New York City are suffering, J is suffering.
J has that much love and compassion for everyone she helps, but it's more when it comes to New York.
It's so much more - it's personal - and unless you've given what J has given to the people of NYC, you can't possibly understand.
And to suggest that J isn't taking care of herself - well, you are wrong.
If J wasn't taking care of herself, if having a baby weren't her priority, I can guarantee you that nothing would have kept her from getting on that plane - not something as simple as medical clearance.
Anonymous, J said this about your comment:
"It's the place I love - the people I love - and I'm sitting here purely by the irony that I had an ill-timed procedure. I can be disappointed. ... & they aren't wrong. But they aren't right either. It's not about a job vs baby. Trust me - I'd have been on a flight Saturday if I was totally dumb and selfish."
Anonymous, my friend J wants a baby - probably more than you want her to have a baby - and I hope you know that she will continue to make that her top priority.
We all have passions, and J's just happens to be something she gets paid for.
That passion isn't going to go away because she wants a baby - not ever.
And between you and me, I think my friend is balancing both perfectly, and with the kind of grace I hope to someday have.
1 day ago