Today, I just feel...
Perhaps even a little bitter.
I don't know. I've done a lot of walking the last 2 weeks. I'll do a lot more over the next two more. But no matter how far I walk, or how much I think about it all... It just doesn't make sense inside.
I'm really honestly trying to not let infertility define me. Or dictate my future. Or level of happiness. Or attitude.
But it's hard.
Here I am in the city that I love, working my buns off, doing everything that makes me happy. Yet there always seems to be this empty little void that I can not find a way to fill. No way. No how.
And that makes me mad.
Because I don't want it to be in that little corner of my heart. I want it to be completely fulfilled and happy with what simply is. I want to walk down 7th Avenue to/from work, with my head held high knowing that I'm a professional woman who is 100% focused on my career and not a child/children back home because of choice.
Instead of default.
1 day ago