Monday, August 31, 2009

The Yellow Brick Road Has Potholes

When I was a kid my dad called me "Dorothy". Actually, he called me "Dorothy Balullah" but if he didn't feel like using my full name he would call me one or the other.

Some days I was Dorothy.

Some days I was Balullah.

I loved them both.

Still do.

I was always his little Balullah until I began my childhood obsession with roller skates. I became Dorothy about the time I got my first set of skates and set out to become like Dorothy Hamill. She was my childhood idol and when I was wearing those roller skates...oh how cool my wedge haircut would look when I threw back into a "Hamil camel". I could roller skate doing those Hamill camels on our back patio for hours and hours.

I also liked Dorothy because of the Wizard of Oz and my love of rainbows. I did many a rollerskating routines to Somewhere Over The Rainbow. To me, it was all one and the same. Dorothy... was Dorothy... was Dorothy.

So imagine my insomniac delight this weekend when I watched both the Wizard of Oz...and... a biography program about Dorothy Hamill. I laughed at the drunk little munchkins and then shed a tear to learn that while I was pretending to be Dorothy Hamill...she was unhappy and pretending to be someone else.

I guess the Yellow Brick Road has potholes.

Life through the eyes of an adult sometimes stinks. It's so much better when you cut your hair and put on roller skates.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

I have a problem. It's called...


After feeling so tired on Friday night, I headed to bed at 9:00pm.

At 2:00am I had watched all of my Everyone Loves Raymond episodes and was still laying there.

Not tired.

At 4:00am I got desperate and stole one of Mr. Thompson's sleeping pills. Next thing I knew...

It was 6:30am and I was up and ready to go.

After a few chores, Saturday started with a soccer game which I bowed out of in favor of a nap.

When Mr. Thompson got home at 1:00pm. I was still laying there....


After an active day of cleaning the laundry...and swimming with Lil' A...I was exhausted. (that was my plan)

At 10:00pm I headed to bed.

By 2:00am I was wide awake but feeling really tired.

So I laid there counting sheep.





At 4:30am Mr. Thompson mumbled something about going to the couch.

So I did but even a CES Fireside on KBYU couldn't put me to sleep until almost 6:00am.

By 7:20am I woke up to the neighbor's dog barking.

And so it begins.

I. Am. Tired. And. Need. Some. Help.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

New and Improved

Did you see the announcement from the TSA about air travel? I have to legally change my name.

Do you realize what that entails?

$500.00 and a flippin' Lawyer!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

The Good: I shaved 2 minutes off my mile on the treadmill this week. You have no idea what it has taken for me to do that. Congratulate me please!

The Bad: Pipe Major Dennis almost made me cry yesterday during my lesson. With that, I've finally realized my problem on the bagpipes.

The Ugly: I'm too retarded to be able to play them.

Seriously. That's the truth. Last week Robert The Bruce...I mean Dennis...told me I was giving him ulcers. This week, he shamed me. Or rather, I shamed myself.

He tells me how to play them...and shows me how to play them...over and over and over again but for some reason I can't make my brain understand it or fingers just do it. I get frustrated and it goes downhill from there.

He tells me to relax and I want to hit him.

He tells me to practice more and I want to just cry. In the 30 minutes it takes for me to drive home from the Celtic Center....I've forgotten everything.

That has to be a sign of a stupidity.

I thought these bagpipes were going to be so easy. I breezed through the first two months of lessons, sang my heart out, learned my 9 notes like a genius and thought that would be that.

Salt Lake Scots here I come.

That was before Single Gracenotes...G, E, D Gracenotes... GDE Sequences...Doublings....High Doublings... Low Doublings....A, G, F, E, D, C, B Doublings...The Birl...Throw on D....The Grip (Lemluath)....Taorlauths....Strikes....Tachums....and on it goes.

Retarded I say. I'm just plain retarded.

Dad, will you still love me if just sing the bagpipes at your funeral?

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Finally....A Final Decision

Enough is enough.

My friends at the memorial place are getting tired of me. I've changed pictures twice....asked for a different font more than once...and used more eptitaphs than I can count. They are dedicated to helping me get it right but I think that they are getting tired of me.

Heavens, I'm getting tired of myself.

I'll admit, the epitaph has been the hardest part. I've mulled over this for 16 months now. Then, a light went on last month and I realized I had the perfect saying in front of my eyes all along. Elena (my 10 year old niece) wrote a sweet poem for the funeral and the last stanza...sums it up pretty well.

So there you have it. Now it's time for a little less thought and a lot more action. I still want some tweeks with the spacing but what do you think about this? With any luck, I'll have the marker placed by fall.

It should be celebrated that I've finally made a decision. This has been a tough one.

(Yet another reason why I should win the cookies Noelle....)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My 3s

First things first... please note the time. Today (or rather to-morning) I say what the heck - I'm going to go ahead and practice my bagpipes. (softly)


Second things second... I love my dog. So let it be said, so let it be written. (who else will put their head in your lap...and snore at decimal 10 level...while you play bagpipes...during the middle of the night?! No one. Which is why dog is man's best friend.)


Third things third... I know that I say that this is blog is my published journal, is a way for me to stay in touch with friends/family, blah blah blah yada yada yada.....but Mr Thompson teased me on the way home from work yesterday with "you know that nobody reads your stupid blog" (gasp, shock, awe - I'm sure that Love Thine Wife's Blog is the 11th commandment...or at least a wedding vow!). I countered with "sure they do - I even have a reader in Bermuda according to my little map". His reply, "The little map lies. You don't have any comments". Ouch.

Blogstalkers unite. Help a girl out! (yes I'm talking about you.)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Mr. Thompson's Great Adventure

He made it!


...but barely still counts. This is what it was supposed to look like.

Riddle of the Day:

Why is it that I only want to practice my bagpipes or get on the treadmill between 12:00am and 5:00am?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Survival Of The Fittest

Ummmm...has anyone seen the weather report for the High Uintas this weekend?

Not good.

Especially since Mr. Thompson left early Friday morning to go on a 15 mile backpacking trip with "the guys"...

Into the High Uintas.

He left a day before everyone because he didn't want them to see him struggle up the mountain.

I bet he is regretting that decision because I can almost guarantee that "they guys" saw the weather report...

And were smart enough not to follow.

Weather Report: severe lightening and thunder, low temperatures, chance of snow, and a whole lot of rain.

Directly over the High Unitas.

He took a gun to protect himself from the bears but I bet that he wishes that he would have taken an umbrella instead.

Of course, that would serve as a lightening rod...

So maybe not.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

10-4 Good Buddy

I hear that Driver Demand is high right now.

Think I should become a truck driver?

Calling William...Come In William!

At what point do you think my bagpipe music....will sound like bagpipe music?

I mean, it's really bad. Seriously. And I say that...


During today's lesson all of these foreign noises started coming out of my pipe. I have no idea where they came from because I swear that I wasn't playing any of it. At least that's what my brain said to itself. But then it sat there and watched as my fingers did something else entirely.

Maybe a Highlander ghost couldn't take it any longer so he intervened and took possession of my body. That sounds like a logical explanation.

Next time I'll mention that he needs to practice a little more.

I'm sure that he'll point out that I wouldn't have been much better without his intervention because I didn't exactly practice every day this week.

Oh great - it's piano lessons all over again!

Next time I'll try to channel the spirit of William Wallace. I'm sure he will empathize and then pipe like a true Scotsman would really pipe.

He's good like that.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

It Is The Best Of Times...It Is The Worst Of Times

One of my old high school chums recently posted something on his Facebook page that really struck me and got me thinking. (Alfredo if you're reading this buddy...thanks for the inspiration!). He's in Iraq doing what every good soldier does. I'm proud of him. He wrote...

"I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life."

That my dear Alfredo, is a pretty big lesson. Unfortunately, soldier or's one that we've all had in some shape or form.

That said, I've also learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you happiness for forever. Guess you have to taste the bitter to know the sweet.

Isn't life is funny? It is the best of times - it is the worst of time.....

Luckily for me, it's usually the best of times.

Friday, August 7, 2009

A Needle In A Haystack

We've already established that I would love to be a mom. I would love-love-love it. Every night I pray that Heavenly Father will feel it - like I feel it.

However, today as I was jabbing a needle into my belly...I decided that I'd like to do this baby thing a different way.

So if prayer doesn't work...

And desire isn't enough...

And the needles hurt...

And the "old fashioned" way isn't "old fashioned" anymore...

And the doctor has started reminding me that I'll be 35 in a few months...

What would you do?

(but please tell me that it doesn't involve any more needles!)

Thursday, August 6, 2009

In War There Is No Prize For Runner-Up

Iceman said it best in Top Gun with...

"the plaque for the alternates is down in the ladies room."

Sorry Brandon. I voted for you a bazillion times.

I guess a bazillion wasn't enough.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Say Cheese!

Introducing the Toothless Wonder. Wouldn't it be great to be seven...and lose your two front teeth all over again?!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Main Mane in Maine

Siblings #2 & #3....I hope that you are reading this. Because I am so mad at you right now!

Oh wait - you aren't reading this. Because you went to Maine. Without me!

And then called last night to rub it in.

Didn't your momma raise you to know better? Just because #2 moved to New Hampshire...and #3 was the first to go see both think that it is okay to "drive up the dirt road" to visit #5's favorite spot in the good ol' U.S. of A.


Maine is mine. I am the main mane and you are both trespassing on my dream.

Want to know when my love affair with this part of New England began? It started as a 12 year old with Anne of Green Gables when I watched and fell in love with Prince Edwards Island. PEI is the most beautiful place on earth. Looking it up on the globe I discovered that it is off the coast of Maine, which is close enough since I want to remain an American.

My love blossomed in 2001 when I ditched my friends in Washington DC and ran away with an old friend to vacation there (we won't go into that part of the story). Katie Jo and Holly still haven't forgiven me but I have no regrets because for 10 days ...I was in heaven.

I stayed in a beach house which was literally on water's edge and went lobstering and sail boating every day. At night I (okay - we) would wade out on the rocky break when the tide rolled out ...only to get stuck out on the highest point when the tide rolled back I (okay - we) would star gaze for hours until the tide rolled back out freeing our path.

I've never seen more stars in my life.

So I hope that you both feel good about going there without me.

I hope a lobster bites you on the butt.