Monday, January 26, 2015

Big Bang Theory

Not too much to report lately. 


Dr. H (reproductive endocrinologist) told me to call him if I didn't experience a "natural D&C" by mid-January. Because I can't do anything the easy way... I broke down and called him last week.

On February 9th I have another biopsy with Dr Z (oncologist) so we discussed options and decided that she will schedule me for the D&C at that appointment. Apparently, the oncologist trumps the reproductive endocrinologist in situations like this.

Which means more pathology. 

And more fingers crossed.

And more waiting.

If pathology come back clean like my November biopsy, then we'll do the D&C... wait the appropriate length of time for my uterus to heal...and then proceed  to frozen embryo transfer (FET) probably March/April'ish. That's how a "window of opportunity" works.

If not - we'll do the D&C and go back to chemo. And that's how a "window of opportunity" disappears. 

No whammies. No whammies. No whammies. 

Oy vey! Why do I feel like I'm constantly playing a game of Russian Roulette?!

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Does Anyone Else Want To See Donny Osmond In Concert?

Today has been a great day.

I just got out of the shower where I stood with the afternoon sun beating through the window on my face, while hot water poured over my head and back. It was one of those glorious moments where you think about how happy you are to be healthy and alive. 

(Apparently the shower windows are dirty. Don't judge...)
And I am. 

I am so extremely happy to be healthy and alive. 

The day started pretty atypical (unless your an infertile). It started with a pregnancy test. You know, because why the heck not. 

Actually I did it because stranger things have happened. (or maybe not). I'm waiting, waiting, waiting for a period... went off all meds in November... feel nauseous all the time... have almost passed out repeatedly at really in opportune times over the last few weeks... Blah. Blah. Blah. 

So I took the test and apparently, stranger things have not happened. 

So I said "Enough!"

I striped off my cloths, put on workout gear, downloaded the C25K app, turned up the radio really loud, and ran it out. (okay- more like a light jog)


45 minutes later I woke up the Mister and his dog, put them in their work out gear and hopped on my new "Townie" bike to take them to the park. I rode while they walked and played.


Enough of this infertility and cancer crap. I've gained 20 pounds the last year on chemo meds and nearly 50 during this 8 year infertility struggle. 


I'm going to seriously work on losing this extra weight now for me.  For no other reason, but me.

And after I make all that effort, I'm going to stand in the sunshine and take a really hot, refreshing shower and just think about how nice it feels to be alive.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

To Try (Again)

I love new beginnings. Thus, I love New Year's. Instead of a long list of goals (I'll most likely break!), I find a word to focus on for the year and let it guide me.

2014 was RUN.

With it, I set out to run 40 race miles by my 40th birthday (#40for40) and made a personal commitment to always face hard things and never run from them. What's more, I promised myself I would run with purpose to the future. All in all, 2014 was a good year of running.

In 2015 my word is TRY.

As in try new things, try harder, and in the words of Samuel Beckett..."Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again."

What's your word for 2015?